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Top 9 Reasons Britney Spears Has No Chance At Making A Comeback

by Belinda Robson in gossip

If you think Britney Spears is making a comeback, you probably believe in the Easter Bunny

Britney Spears has always held a special spot in the hearts of most people. I even fondly hold myself in that category. At one time, Britney Spears was a beautiful and talented person who looked like she could do no wrong. Alas, that time has passed, and Britney Spears is beginning to take on the look of a celebrity humunculous, in much the same manner as Mike Tyson or Michael Jackson. People are tuning in to hear Britney Spears news the way you'd expectantly wait for the reports from a train wreck. You know whatever you hear next, it just cannot be good.

What evidence do I have that Britney is washed up?

I understand that Britney Spears has a lot of fans, and some of them are most likely delusional fat girls like her, so I understand that some people won't take the news that she's washed up lightly. Indeed, you can still find suckers who will watch her fat ass dance for 15 minutes at the cost of $125. But you can't find many of them these days. That's why she's filling up the House Of Blues on her way to the International House Of Pancakes.

She can forget worldwide studio tours.

Why have I gone from being a fan to a hater of Britney Spears and Why do I know her career is in the crapper? Now I'll outline 9 reasons that scientifically prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Britney Spears will not come back any more than Dustin Diamond has.

Britney Spears is just too damn fat

Britney Spears is ugly
Britney Spears is not in good enough shape to perform for even 15 minutes
She loves to drink and screw
She's a bad mom
She was a bad wife
She's bi-curious but doesn't have the guts to sleep with a woman
She used to be hot but now she's not
JR Rotem is her new producer. He produced K-Fed's last. 'Nuff said

I think my point is proven. Of course we could continue and make hundreds of more arguments about just how bad she is, but I won't. There's no need to pick on this fat girl anymore. It's time she went on with her life, and gave up the silly dream of performing. Hopefully you've enjoyed this post. This is my first post here as a columnist so I'm excited. Don't forget, Britney Spears is a fat ho and does not deserve your dollars. Boycott her for everyone's good. And if you agree with me and like this article, don't forget to help promote the Times Of The Internet.

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