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by Lupe Lasano in this-and-that

You better not eat meat on Good Friday

Good Friday is the traditional Christian Holiday where good, God-fearing Jesus worshippers order Fillet of Fish sandwiches from McDonald's, rather than their normal order of a Big Mac and fries. This act of sacrifice tells God they love him.

Back in the day, when Catholics were strict, they didn't eat meat on any Fridays. But as they became more lax in their beliefs, the Church lightened up just a tad and made it so the moratorium on meat-eating occurred only during the special religious period called "Lent."

What happens if you are Catholic and eat meat on Good Friday?

Well, it won't really be a Good Friday for you at all, because you are going to Hell!

Sorry, but that's just how things work. If you are a member of a religion, and ignore certain rules, you have to spend eternity burning in the agonizing and eternal flames of Hell. The flames of Hell are hotter than the flames of a million internet forums, so dress cool. Don't forget your supplies: water, ice cubes, and a sweat rag.

For those of us who aren't following one of the world's grand religions, we can still have a Good Friday today. For me, a Good Friday will be getting off work early, and maybe getting laid. I hope you have a Good Friday as well. And remember, do not eat MEAT until after midnight!

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